The World

The world is a funny place, seemingly forever hurtling towards its doom. Back in the middle ages, it was Black Death, then Spanish Flu and nuclear annihilation. But now comes the glorious mess up that is global warming. And like all poetic, tragic stories, we have no one to blame but mankind itself. Life's like that. Today, we have a name for record-breaking heat waves. It's called "summer". And in Malaysia, summer seems to have mercilessly stamped on any other season we might have had, and then spat on it in disgust. Suffice it to say, its hot here. And it isn't getting cooler any time soon.

But instead of telling you ways to stop global warming ( recycle crap, use less electricity, stop setting fire to things - you get the gist ), I'm going to tell you about what you should do, should you face a warm apocalypse. Sorta. First off, because of the insanely hot weather, going out will be a definite no. Try making yourself comfortable at home, possibly watch a couple of YouTube videos, Escape from City 17 and Half-Life: Full Life Consequences come to mind. If it gets hotter, prepare to loot stores for food ( or mobile phones and iPods ) when crops ultimately fail. Then, be prepared to eat your neighbours. You may want to practice now.

Eventually, try hijacking a submarine and prepare to spend the remainder of your life underwater, free from the sun's harmful rays. Remember, fishing from inside a submarine is not recommended. Flinging yourself into space may also work, although entertainment in Earth's orbit may be an issue. Try bringing a wireless laptop and hope there's Wi-Fi in space. Lastly, forget everything I just said, and you should be fine. While we're on the subject of doom, there's also the "economy". Because of the "economy" people seem to be losing money in the "sock exchange" or something. Everything about the "economy" seems to be bad, wonder which jerk invented it.